Henkou
by Nauran
Summary: Ash Ketchum finally reaches pokémon mastery, only to have his world lost in an instant. When he mysteriously wakes up in his hometown, ten years old again, he starts to question the life he had lived and the people he came to know. Was it all a lie? Or has he been brought back by someone for a greater purpose? Based on the Pokémon Coma Theory. -Ash Harem?-
1. Awakening

Loud.

Very loud.

Ear-splittingly loud.

The roar of the crowd wasn't what had me by the ear. For what it stood for, _that_ was the reason I loved every second of it.

I could've guessed there to be around fifty-thousand people cheering, and their lungs were really giving it their all. Coupled with the victorious theme music playing, the ambience alone would've been enough to take someone off their feet.

Big celebrations happen often, but this... _this_ had to be the biggest I've seen in a long time. And I couldn't be prouder to be a part of it. And not just a part of it. _The_ part of it.

Because I was the one they were cheering for.

Well over my expectations, the turnout was unbelievable! I mean, I've seen huge tournaments on TV, I've even placed in the top several positions of a few, but in this stadium under this night sky... I couldn't remember anything quite like it.

The lights. Flashing so many colours, I thought I was about to have a seizure!

The sounds. Loud enough to make your ears numb, but not loud enough to keep you from appreciating it.

The air. Crisp like every clear night, but as soon as I saw a few balls of colour flying up from atop the stadium, I knew I'd be breathing in some fireworks.

As the sky lit up, I brought my head down to look to the crowd. More specifically, the front rows. I saw so many familiar faces. All ranging in gender, age, even species! But what came to my mind when I saw all of their joy-filled expressions was how much they supported and helped me to get to where I was. Whether in person or in spirit. Some I've known my whole life, and others I've known since I was ten years old, when it all started...

When it all started.

_When it all started._

_When... it... all..._

"Ngh!"

A single heartbeat sent a fierce jolt through my entire body.

The blood rush must've knocked something on its way, because all of my friends and family started to go out of focus. Squinting, I tried to keep my vision, but as the seconds went on, it became harder and harder to see. The huge smile I was wearing a few moments ago had disappeared, and I couldn't feel control over any of my muscles. As everything became more unfocused, the sounds of fireworks, crowd cheers and music started slurring. I couldn't tell whether I was having some sort of adrenalin rush, but, at that moment, all I could feel was... weak.

My eyelids drooped so low, I thought they would close completely, but I did my best to keep them open. I could feel my eyes glaze over, and what's worse, my legs started acting up.

The shakiness I felt was getting more uncontrollable. I couldn't tell if I'd stand for much longer.

With the vision I still had, I saw the faces of my friends and family. But for some reason, all they were doing, and continued to do, was cheer in excitement.

Didn't they realise, or even _see_, that I was losing consciousness? While their whistles, waves and hops became blurrier, I suddenly found my legs giving way.

Time slowed down...

Every person watching me slowed down...

The sounds hitting my ears slowed down...

My heartbeat slowed down...

Everything became completely distorted. What was happening to me? When would I know? Who... or what was... causing this? _Why... was this... happening_?

_Why_... _am_ _I_... _here_...

* * *

A quick intake of breath and my eyes snapped open.

I was looking at a white ceiling.

I furrowed my expression, knowing that, out of all things, that _wasn't_ what my brain was telling me I should be seeing. Blinking a few times, I gathered my thoughts. Something I couldn't do just a... few minutes... ago...

I slowly sat up, my muscles straining in doing so. Looking around, I recognised it to be a hospital room.

...What?

Most things in the room were pale white, a muted TV played in the far corner and a wide window was to my right.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Almost nine-thirty.

Through the window, I could see what appeared to be a small town. Although it was dark out – so it's nine-thirty at night_ – _I could still make out some trees, grass and gardens. As well as a number of short houses, buildings and the outline of a windmill on the dim horizon. I immediately recognized it as Professor Oak's la-

_...I'm in Pallet Town..._

As soon as that dawned on me, my mind went blank, yet it was filled with questions at the same time.

For what seemed like ages, I just sat in my bed, staring out to my hometown with an unchanging expression.

Finally, I pulled the sheets off myself, got out of bed and slowly approached the window. As I did, I felt the pulse monitor unclip from my finger.

Keeping my headache from swaying me, my hands latched onto the windowsill and I tried to focus. A few people were all I could see on the streets.

Blinking, I darted my eyes from one building to another, one tree to another, one house to another – I couldn't deny it even if I wanted to.

It _was_ Pallet Town. I was back in my hometown. And I was in Pallet's hospital.

But...

How did I get here? Why am I here? Who knows anything about this? And why am I-

I almost choked on the sharp gasp.

The shock nearly had me fall over. My eyes convulsed erratically and a cold sweat fell down my head.

With the reflection of the window right in front of me, I finally got a good look at myself. My eyes were in bigger proportion to my face, my hair wasn't as long as I last had it, and I could swear I was shorter.

If I had to take a guess, I would've said I was in my body, but... _at ten_ _years_ _old_...

I touched my face and pulled my hair up to inspect every bit of myself. I couldn't believe it. This just made me feel even more confused!

I tried to relax. Bringing everything that I knew of this situation into one mental pile helped, but it still didn't change anything.

I was in the Pallet Town hospital, I was ten, and I had no idea what had caused this, when this happened, or why it happened!

My arms hung at my sides. Standing still for a while, I looked up at the dark sky, seeing murky clouds beginning to merge. I took a deep breath and released a long, calming sigh. Looking back at my reflection, I couldn't help but just stare. And stare... _And_ _stare_...

Slowly, I raised my hand and pressed it up against the ice-cold glass. At that time, I realised that my skin was a lot lighter. I stood there, thinking about everything that had happened. Remembering where I was a while ago didn't help, and nothing seemed out of the ordinary, other than my own thoughts.

Nothing looked changed or unusual at all. But to be here, and now – _something_ must've changed. Why else would I be feeling this way?

Raindrops started hitting the window. I tilted my head up to look at the dark clouds above. As time past while I just kept standing and thinking, all I could hear was the rain. The streets were completely emptied and darkened now. I leaned my head forward to rest against the window. It had become much colder, but I didn't feel any chills from the contact. I closed my eyes.

A second later, my eyes opened and my ears peaked at the sound of a doorknob turning. I turned my head. As soon as I saw the person, I turned my whole rigid body around.

A damp raincoat and umbrella dropped next to a pair of shoes.

The woman standing in the doorway had a broken expression, but I could see it gradually begin to lighten. Her hair was raggedly tied back, her clothes were ruffled, and her eyes... So much focus was put into those deep, brown eyes as they stared right at me.

As if I could ever not recognize her, and yet, I found myself... _amazed_ by what I was seeing.

'_No..._' I couldn't even put a thought together. '_This isn't..._'

After ages of standing and staring, Delia Ketchum, my mother, nearly sprinted for me, catching me with a tight embrace.

As I stood there while my mother held me, I just breathed and held my expression – complete and utter shock.

When I felt my mother shake and choke back a sob, it brought me back to reality. I tried to back away, but she sensed it and tightened her hug one more time, sobbing, before she let go and held me at arm's length.

Looking at her reddened face, leaking so many tears, I felt as if I was about to break out as well, and I wouldn't even know why.

With a shaky sigh, she pulled me back into another hug and dug her head into my shoulder. It took another while, but she finally spoke.

"_I'm... I'm so glad you're alright._"

Mom whispered, her voice cracking. My expression didn't change, but one thing was sure – I finally had someone to talk to.

"What's... What's going on?"

And of course, my voice was just as it was at ten. Mom loosened her grip and moved back to look me in the eyes. She wiped away the tears she had before answering.

"Oh... honey..." She rubbed my hair, letting her hand rest on my cheek. "You've been... _asleep_... for a little while."

Mom read my confused face and went on.

"You see, sweetie, you've been... well... you've been... in a... a short c-coma... f-for a bit less than a day."

I could tell by her face that she didn't like the distraught and confused look I gave her.

"A... A-uh... coma?"

"Y-Yes," she shakily responded. "You've... been in the hospital since yesterday." Mom sniffled once, clearing her throat before continuing. "The doctor said that the i-injuries you suffered in the accident were... serious, and that you were exposed to a b-big... electrical shock. They said there might've been some effect to your brain, b-but they were confident that you'd pull through without any problems," she ended with a smile, even though she was still crying.

I was trying to process all of what she said.

I backed up and sat on the bed, shuffling up enough to let my feet dangle off the edge. Mom took a seat next to me, resting her still-shaky fists on her lap. I just sat there, holding my hands together.

I didn't say anything for a while, because I couldn't really think of anything to say. But I knew every second was torture for Mom, so I needed to reassure her that I was okay – at least okay enough to talk.

"Wh-..."

The slightest mumble had Mom straighten up. She hummed for me to continue.

"What's today's date?"

I couldn't exactly remember the date I started my journey, but-

My heart leapt in my throat the second something came to me, after the words 'started my journey' went through my mind...

Mom replied after another sniffle.

"T-Today's April second, Sunday night. Are you alright? Did you just remember something?"

Of all the things to not take notice of during that entire time, I couldn't believe I hadn't realised it sooner!

"...Where's Pikachu?"

Mom's expression changed to a shocked one, before it softened to a disheartened look. She faced the ground.

I kept looking up at her, waiting. If something were to come of this, good or bad, I needed to know where Pikachu was. No matter what.

"Ash..."

Just _saying_ that with such a sad voice got to me.

"_Mom_."

She blinked and traced her eyes back to my own, not moving an inch.

"Please... Where's Pikachu?" I repeated, feeling desperation take its hold on me.

"A-Ash... Pikachu is... _gone_."

* * *

Barefoot, wet and freezing.

I ran through the rain, never even thinking of stopping.

The dirt road had turned to mud and the trees struggled in the gale.

But out of all this, the feeling I had that told me something had happened to Pikachu... that was the coldest thing of all.

I didn't even let her finish. Mom looked desperate when she tried to keep me from escaping the hospital. I just couldn't listen anymore.

When I left, I sprinted through Pallet Town. I made it to the forest I had travelled through back when I began my journey. I may not've known exactly when I started, but the place where Pikachu saved my life was lodged into my memory.

Slowing down, I saw that I was finally there.

I coughed, choking up my exhaustion in loud, hoarse barks.

My ten-year-old body had enough, but my heart and mind were hell-bent on going on. They burnt with determination to pump my legs another mile if I needed, even if I was at my edge.

I looked all around the forest divided by the road. It had taken a while, but I finally made it to where I wanted to be. The site of one of the most important moments of my life.

But when I got there... Nothing.

No spearow. No fearow. No other wild pokémon to be seen at all... _And_ _no_ _Pikachu_...

I got here as fast as I could, tearing up my hospital pants and making my post-comatose condition worse in the process. But I couldn't find anything.

It was much closer to town than the way I first got here, when I swam down a river and took a bik-

It hit me...

As quick as a thunderbolt, I found myself worrying about all my friends. And as if I wasn't already in a state of despair, I was hit by another wave of grief.

Everyone... Every person I knew... Every pokémon I knew... Every_thing_ I knew...

I didn't know where they were. I didn't know if they knew where I was. I wasn't even sure _I_ knew where I was.

This wasn't where I was supposed to be. My heart was telling me that I was at the site of the beginning of my journey, but my mind was telling me that I was supposed to be somewhere else. I started feeling a pain in my chest...

In the cold, hard-pouring rain, I fell to my knees, panting, physically and mentally drained.

Something snapped.

The questions of what was real and what was not collapsed onto my thoughts. I didn't know why, but for some reason all the bottled up aggression and confusion suddenly burst out of me.

With my chest still heaving, I gritted my teeth, coiled my hands into fists and brought them down to the ground so hard, it felt like my bones could've broke.

I stayed there, hunched over in sweat, rainwater... and tears.

"Where am I-I-I?" I screamed up to the dark clouds.

My throat felt like it would go numb, but I just kept going.

"Answer me-e-e!"

Mist formed every time I let out a coarse breath. I didn't know how long my lungs would last, but I screamed out as much as I could, as desperately as I could.

"I don't care what this is! Take me _back_!"

I got more and more desperate, making myself weaker and colder.

"Celebi! Mewtwo! Dialga! Somebody answer me! Take... Me... Ba-a-ack!"

After the longest scream I could muster, I shut my mouth and slumped over. I coughed so hard I thought I'd choke up blood.

Seething, I managed a few more words.

"Somebody... _Anybody_._.. Answer me... please..._"

A light shined down the road behind me.

Through the chaos of my condition, I sensed it. I raised my head, breathing heavily and letting loose tears fall.

Slowly, I turned.

The light made the intense rainfall completely visible, but I could still see it coming closer. I couldn't hear anything as I stared at it. As it got closer, it got bigger.

But suddenly, I heard the sound of tires running over the muck road, and the single light divided into two.

I limply turned back around, losing all hope of something showing itself to me.

It was just a car. Just... a _stupid_ _car_. Not a potentially helpful pokémon. Not a potentially helpful person. It was nothing.

My heart broke into cold shards. My muscles felt numb. The shreds of hope I was holding onto, I purposely let go of, knowing nothing would come for me. There was nothing I could do. _Nothing_...

Suddenly, someone I couldn't have lived without wrapped their arm around my shoulders.

I felt the rainwater stop pouring onto me.

I slowly raised my head, showing the person my broken form.

My mom's face looked just as broken.

She held the umbrella over us, while her other arm rested behind my neck, clasping my shoulder with her warming grip. Tears were rolling down her eyes too.

But the big difference between our expressions was the dark frown I had, and the small smile she had. It didn't take me too long to know what she was thinking.

I couldn't let myself keep this up. I had to be strong. _Stronger_ than this. I _am_ stronger than this. I knew I was.

I wrapped my arms around her, as she did to me.

I didn't really know what to do at that point, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. Through the rain and sobs, I whispered to her.

"..._I'm_ _sorry_."

* * *

**Waking up numb.**


	2. Before The Mist

"_Nah, it's just a kid... Oh! And a pokémon! Ohh, are you okay?"_

"_Yeah. I'm okay."_

"_Not _you_!"_

* * *

"_Gegh_!"

I let out a quick grunt as my bloodshot eyes snapped open.

The tiredness in my body started to fade, but my eyes still felt sore from waking up so quickly.

I touched my cheek. For some reason, I felt an unpleasant sensation running over it, but I tried to ignore it.

My eyes slid closed, making me want to sleep some more because, as they say, you sleep best when you know you've gotta get up soon. I was planning on doing just that, until I felt a chill run over my scalp, making my hair stand on end. I immediately pulled the blanket over my head with a moan, welcoming the warmth.

"Awake, I see."

I heard a chipper voice, which was undoubtedly Mom's.

I replied with a lazy groan, and she sighed.

"Ash, I know it's cold, but you'll need to get up if you wanna eat breakfast."

Muffling from the warm darkness of my blanket, I had to reply to that.

"...Coming."

I was getting hungry anyway.

I shoved the covers off myself, letting the fresh, cold air of the room envelope me. And along with the chilly atmosphere, I smelt the raw scent of eggs on a pan coming from the doorway. It tickled my nose in a way no other food could.

Okay... That was more than enough to get me up.

I stretched out with a refreshing yawn. A shirt and a pair of PJ pants were all I had on, so I could feel the full brunt of the cold. I opened the curtains, but not without looking outside for a moment.

It wasn't the tallest or most extravagant hotel in the city, but it was fine until we needed to leave. And the view from my window in particular was pretty good. Aside from all the buildings, the left side opened up to a much greener part. The park looked nice with its open field and tree lines, and there was a lake, adding to the scenery. Although, the scene could do better without the mist hanging ove-

...

That last thought sparked my memory of the reason I came to this city.

I kind of regret bringing Mom with me, but she insisted on coming and helping in any way she could.

But when the time comes to do what I came here to do, I don't think anyone will be able to help me. I'll be on my own.

Anyway, back to me trying to survive this cold morning – I had to get some socks. I pulled some out of my shoes, slipped them on and stepped out. Mom was making breakfast in the kitchen. Breakfast's aroma was already hanging around the apartment. That familiar smell lifted my vigour all on its own.

I stretched up. "Mornin', Mom."

I leant over the kitchen bench to see what she was doing. Two eggs in a pan, looking just about done. And just seeing them got me even hungrier!

"Good morning, Ash. Hope you're keeping warm," she said, taking note of the temperature that must've spread through the apartment from the veranda door, which I sneered at. "This is guaranteed to warm you up, but make sure to wear as much as you can today."

As she said that, I noticed her thick pink sweater. She always had to have something _pink_ on her, I smiled meekly.

Mom placed the eggs on a plate with some toast.

"If this isn't enough, we can stop by the hotel's cafe before leaving. I'm sorry we don't have anything else. I'll go shopping later today."

Always thinking ahead. Regrettably, it was something I didn't remember much of her, but I could easily live with it all over again.

"Thanks, Mom," I thanked her and took my plate, but not before sprinkling some salt and pepper on.

I took it and walked past the dining table, opting for the coffee table and couch in front of the TV instead. Before sitting down, I slid the veranda door closed to try and stop more cold from coming in. I sat down, clicked the TV on and found a morning news show to watch and eat to.

* * *

The day wasn't warmed much by the sun, because most of the time it was behind the clouds. And it looked like it would rain, probably by the afternoon. If I didn't time things right, I'd get caught in the rain. Hopefully, that wouldn't happen.

Walking down the sidewalk, I found it easily manoeuvrable since there were a lot less people than I had earlier thought. That wasn't to say there weren't tons on the other blocks. More than _double_ the amount on the block I was on actually. All of them were dressed in thick clothing, and a lot of them in business suits.

I, myself, was dressed properly for this cold time of year. Good shoes, baggy pants, and a thick, fur-lined jacket. As per Mom's demand, I also had a scarf wrapped around my neck. I was prepared for nature, but what I _really_ needed to be preparing for... well... I was sure I'd be ready when the time came.

"Gugh!"

"Ergh!"

The impact on my shoulder wasn't much, but it made both of us grunt and pull back. It was a man several inches taller than me. Five o'clock shadow, probably in his twenties, but I could see something else. He looked... depressed? The mopey furrow in his expression certainly gave it away.

"Sorry," he immediately said. Nice guy. Don't come across too many people who apologise so quickly these days.

"_My_ fault. Sorry."

I shook his apology off with a smile and continued walking, as did he.

I had to be more careful. Getting lost in my thoughts would be too easy at a time like this, and next time I could walk into something much worse. Running a hand through my hair, I sighed.

"Hmm?"

Still being mindful of my path, I pulled a bang of hair up. It was noticeably longer than I had last checked. This got me smiling. The last time I had a hair-cut was quite a while ago, from my perspective at least. There was someone who always thought I looked better with longer hair.

But I doubt they even knew I existed right now.

"Hey, kid, wait a sec!"

I turned around, seeing the guy I bumped into jog up to me, much more lively than before.

"Uhh, listen, you wouldn't... happen to be a trainer, would you?"

I cocked an eyebrow and gave him a wary look. I cleared my throat.

"Yeah?"

I don't really know what made me reply positively to that question, but it was already too late.

"And would you be heading to-o-o..." he carried, "the Cerulean Gym?"

There was certainly some hopefulness in his eyes. But seriously, what was going through his head? He was actually pretty lucky, because...

"I am."

I supposed that I had time to hear him out.

"Really? Okay, umm. I've sorta got a favour to ask you."

He reached inside his coat pocket. To my surprise, he pulled out an envelope and then a black velvet case, the size of a small book.

"Could you give these to the leader of the gym when you meet 'er?"

Normally, a lot of thoughts would be going through the mind of a person in my position. And I was no exception. A birthday present? Some sort of special occasion gift? A debt to repay? ...A _proposal_? Okay, that's enough.

"I've _really_ gotta get going, but I can't go without giving these to her. Since you're going there to challenge her, could you hand these over for me?" Not even so much as a 'please'. "...Please." Oh, there it is.

I gave him another suspicious glare.

"This looks like it could have a very _suggestive_ motive. Care to share?"

He smiled awkwardly.

"Sorry. I'd really rather not say too much, but could you ple-e-ease give these to her? It'd be no trouble, really! Just hand it to her, she'll read it, and that's it. No problem."

It'd be hard to find someone who'd just lay themselves out like that, but I guess it was all about the person's character. This guy seemed like the trusting type.

"And what'll I get in return?"

He struggled with his facial expressions for a bit, before letting out a stifled sigh and digging into his pocket.

"Here."

He handed me the envelope and case. I hesitated, before grabbing them. That gave him the chance to pull out his wallet. I swear I thought he'd just run off after giving these things to me, but I guess I was right when I thought he had trusting character.

"How 'bout twenty bucks for your troubles?" He pulled out a twenty dollar bill.

This guy _really_ wanted these to get to the gym leader.

"...My troubles are a minimum cost of fifty."

I grinned. He groaned.

"Thirty." He pulled out another ten.

I... was just joking...

But it'd be rude to strike down a begging man's wishes.

"Deal," I agreed, and he handed me the bills. "And who's this goin' out to? And from?" There was more than one person he could've meant.

"Going to Miss _Daisy _Waterflower. She's the oldest, the blonde one." He gave out a relieved sigh, happy that I was going through with this. "And if she asks before reading it, just say it's from 'Anthony'."

I put the money in my pants pocket, and the case and letter in my coat.

I shrugged. "Alright. But if I ever see you again, you owe me, '_Anthony',_" I ended sceptically, narrowing an eye.

He laughed nervously.

"Thanks a lot, man. I really do owe you one. See ya."

He turned, with a very conflicted but relieved expression, and walked away.

I watched his back for a few seconds, before digging my hands in my pockets and walking the other way, as if the entire thing never happened. I would probably never see that guy again anyway, but doing a favour for someone else wasn't something I hadn't done before. There was this one word I looked up once that would've fit this scenario... started with an 'al' or something... Ugh, can't remember it right now. Oh well.

Peculiar meetings like that don't usually come around, but whatever. Now I've got _two_ obligations when I get there.

* * *

I'm here. But... where was the gym?

I meant the gym that _I_ knew.

What I was looking at was not something I remember seeing last time I was here.

I remember a colourful dome building with the distinctive design of a dewgong on it.

But this... well, the big dome was there, but no flashy paintjob. No big distinctions. Just grey and metallic colouring. I could barely see through the windows or glass doors from the distance. I couldn't help but feel... unsettled by this.

But still, whatever the reason...

I started walking for the entrance.

As I walked, the distant traffic sounds were drowned out by the sound of my shoes as they hit the concrete path and the rustling trees in the background. My eyes sharpened so hard, it was as if they were trying to peer through the wall. My jaw clenched itself tight, my heart was beating a bit faster.

Yeah. I was _that_ nervous.

I revised what my plan was. What I came here to do would surely make or break the unidentified amount of resolve I had left in me. I couldn't go on peacefully without doing at least this _one_ thing. Whatever would happen afterwards wasn't important yet, as far as I was concerned. And once I walked in there and started the confrontation I was aiming for, there would be no going ba-

"_Drgh_!"

...Ow.

That was the result of my face hitting the glass door.

I withdrew back and held a hand up against the glass, holding my sore nose. I felt stupid, walking like a zombie and smashing against the door. Glad no one had seen that... I hoped. I rubbed my eyes.

Suddenly, the doors slid open and I heard a voice.

"Ohh, are you okay?" Out of some lapsed impulse, I answered.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

I flinched, my eyes snapping wide open.

I turned to see who had asked me.

* * *

**The best realisations come too quickly.**


	3. The Somber Sensational Sister

"Hey... Are you, uh... alright?"

...

"Umm... Is something wrong?"

I finally brought myself out of my daze, blinking back my vision.

My heart rate eased after the sudden jolt it had, and the strong sense of familiarity I felt slowly died down as well.

Sighing, I spoke.

"I'm sorry – Just feelin'... a little dazed from the hit."

I cleared my throat, hoping it would stick. Letting out another breath, I tried to gather myself.

So here she is...

One of Cerulean's Sensational Sisters. 'Renowned envy of the women of Kanto' is what I've heard when referring to her and her sisters, but that's more of a matter of opinion. Don't know why she was in a sweater and vest. Was it really that cold in here? Or was she about to leave? Speaking of style, how could anyone ever rule out her hairstyle, the standout feature of this particular Waterflower.

"Sorry," she apologised.

I walked in so the doors could close, and we made our way to the reception desk. The entrance wasn't too different. Big open hall with a desk and waiting area, not unlike a pokémon center.

"We _did_ kinda just open for today. 'Guess you were a few milliseconds too early."

We shared a quick laugh, until she stopped.

"Anyway, I'm Lily, youngest member of the Sensational Sisters." She flicked her hair out, coolly leaning on the countertop while being ignorant to the vase of flowers less than an inch away from her elbow. "How can I help you?"

So far, my impression of her is different from the memories I've had of her. I guess that's a _good_ thing?

"Well, uh, I'm here to-"

"Uh-uh-uh! Don't tell me!" she interrupted, shoving her palm in front of my face. I inched back, surprised by her forwardness. "Hmm..." Lily cupped her chin and gave me a once-over. This was the most intrigued expression I've ever seen from any one of the Sensational Sisters, bar the _official_ youngest one. Speaking of her-

Lily snapped her fingers, getting my full attention back.

"You're here to, like, battle for the cascade badge, aren't ya?" she asked – more like _declared –_ with a huge smile, as well as adding the first ditzy 'like' I've heard from her.

But this is kinda surprising. The last time I checked, Lily Waterflower was _not_ one to get too excited for a pokémon battle. It really wasn't her kinda sport.

"Well, n-ah-"

I was cut off by Lily grabbing my wrist and pulling me away.

She pushed open some doors, we walked through some sliding ones, until we made it to a place I actually _do_ remember.

But how did it suddenly get so warm?

I immediately felt like taking my coat off after being engulfed by the room's surprising temperature, but Lily was still clinging to me like an excited kid leading their parent through a toy store.

The outside of the gym may've been different, but the huge stadium stands and pool I was looking at were _much_ more familiar to my eyes. I glanced up to the ceiling, which was probably a hundred feet above us, and saw the likely cause of the heat – those were some huge vents. To the far end of the pool, a diving tower stood, and I could faintly see someone at the top.

Finally letting go of my hand, Lily stopped.

"Challenger approaching, Vi'! Challenge-e-er a-a-approachi-i-ing!" she shouted out epically, as if to sound an alarm.

I heard a surprised murmur coming from the diving board's direction, then a yelp... and then a splash.

Apparently, the diver got distracted by Lily's grand announcement.

"Ah! Violet!" Lily yelped herself, daintily running for the other side of the pool. I followed at my own, slower pace.

Out of the water popped a gasping, blue-haired woman. She quickly got her bearings and swam for the edge of the pool, where Lily stopped to lean down and say something to her, which was out of my earshot.

I stood back, letting them say whatever they needed and, having the chance, I pulled my scarf off and unshouldered half my coat, letting the unnecessary heat out. As I got more comfortable, I noticed Lily making her way to the wall and bringing Violet a towel. She dried off and draped the towel over herself, before both of them started walking towards me.

"So _this_ is our newest challenger, huh?" Violet did as Lily did earlier, cupping her chin and looking me over while I nonchalantly straightened out my coat and tossed it onto my shoulder. "Hmm..." Hmm? "How old are you, kid?" What kinda question is that, Vi'?

"How old are _you_?" I shot back.

Violet's form straightened, pushing out her perky, bikinied breasts and letting an eyebrow flinch. Whoa... Didn't mean to be that provoking.

"Don't you think that's a little, like, _rude_ to ask a celebrity?" she irritably said, placing her fists on her hips.

Lily, on the other hand, looked like she found some amusement in this little stint, a wide grin stretched on her face.

"Sorry. Didn't mean anything by that." I apologetically smiled. "My age doesn't really matter, does it?"

Violet looked like she cooled down, and Lily stopped fighting giggles.

"Anyway..." She placed a hand on her hip, gaining a bit of poise for some reason. "Which of us will you be challenging?"

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. These two really must mean business to be _this_ forward about battling.

"As the challenger, you have the choice of picking one of the gym leaders as your opponent. Of course, no one says there'll be an easier one out of us. So, who do you choose?" Violet crossed her arms, a devious grin playing on her lips.

I couldn't help but shoot her one back, but more of a surprised, sarcastic one.

To think, the girls that I knew, who barely had _anything_ to do with pokémon battling, despite being official Kanto gym leaders, would turn face so radically and be so willing to accept a battle. Even though it's been a while since the... 'first' time I met them, this amount of change couldn't possibly have come over them so easily.

Another thing to add to the list of worldly changes.

Something was up, but, for the life of me, it didn't strike me as a _negative_ change. I'd admit that this was way different than what I had originally thought, but it isn't really my place to judge this unfamiliar character development. Eh...

I cupped my chin and cocked an eyebrow, taking on a very contemplative pose. After a few moments of blinking and shifty eyes, I lightened my expression and gradually opened my mouth. I could see the glisten in their eyes as I was about to reply. They looked ready for anything... except for this.

"Mind if I meet your other sister first?" I shut my mouth, erasing my exuberant appearance.

Their expressions, bodies _and_ their egos faltered.

They really must've been looking forward to it. Poor girls...

But I was too busy holding back my laughter to sympathise.

* * *

We had finally reached the top of the stairs that lead to the – I've counted three or four now – this must've been the third level of their gym slash home.

Violet had excused herself, since she thought I wasn't looking for a challenge, which left Lily to escort me to her other sister's room. The building's outside may've looked cold and hard, but the inside was like a five-star hotel. Carpeted, wall ornaments, a few fresh plants. It was... really nice.

I was still following Lily, continuing the conversation I had initially started.

"I can't say this puts me in a comfortable spot. For all I know, you could be holding back she's _pregnant_ or something! Then I'll have to deal with this while ducking her lethal mood-swings."

All the while, Lily kept fighting a grin.

"Well, I'm sure if _you_ ever went through something like this you'd, like, be in the same boat. For us girls, something like this could work up to be like one-hundred baseball bats to the gut!"

Well... that's a pretty peculiar metaphor.

We came to a stop in front of a door, decorated with golden designs.

I hushed myself to just above a whisper.

"She just broke up with a guy who didn't say goodbye, which could mean she was pretty much... _dumped_." I carefully whispered that last word. "If you hear furniture breaking, assistance would be appreciated." I smiled awkwardly.

"I'll do what I can," she softly replied.

Turning the knob, Lily hung the door open, granting me access. I rolled my eyes and walked in, nothing but a jacket in hand with two important items in it.

The short hallway that came into view lead to a window, which then turned left, presumably to the bedroom itself.

"_Good luck._"

That was the last thing I heard before the door was swiftly but silently closed.

And now I feel like I'm walking into a lion's den...

Every step I took echoed walking down the hallway. I kept my breath under control to the best of my ability, but the phrase 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' kept playing in my mind over and over. Before I knew it, I was already turning the corner.

"_...Eh-..._"

My eyes traced over a dirty, cluttered room that included scattered clothes, magazines and used tissues, as well as a muted TV. What _really_ caught my attention caused me to instinctively clasp my free hand over my eyes with a smack.

But the image of Daisy Waterflower half-covered under the sheets and sprawled on her bed in lingerie was already burned into my vision...

Those two _insisted_ anything from 'Anthony' would help, but now I'm wishing I had just waited for Daisy to come out herself later.

No sooner did the loud slap of my hand against my face fly through the room, did I hear Daisy waking up. I could just dump the envelope and case, and leave as quickly as possible, but Daisy might get suspicious of what woke her up.

I muffled a shaky sigh. Might as well face the music and hope for the best.

"Uhh... M-Miss Waterflower? Lily let me in." No scream? So far so good. "I j-just came in to drop of a couple'a things from Anthony." I blindly fiddled with my jacket before finally feeling my way into the pocket that contained the envelope and case. "I'll just..."

Opening one eye slightly, I made a move to place the items on a table next to me. Unfortunately, my move was cut short when a hand clasped my wrist like a cobra strike. I froze, slowly trailing my eyes up to meet a sleep-deprived, sea-green pair of infuriated orbs. She had already put a robe on, concealing her voluptuous figure, but _man_, is she fast!

I suddenly felt my arm twist upwards and behind my back, triggering a painful grunt from me. When the hell'd she get so frickin' violent? She's acting more like Mi-

"Gugh!"

A sudden shove forced me to fall onto her bed. I also noticed my grip on everything I was holding had already been lost. I turned over and was about to get up, before I was forced to freeze again, this time by a thin knife being pointed at my throat! I couldn't believe what was happening, but I'm regretting ever coming in here.

I dared not move, even though the weapon had been pulled back. When Daisy slit open the envelope that had somehow gotten in her hand, I realised that it was actually a letter-opener I was being threatened by, but the tearing sound still made my neck feel... _uncomfortable_. I tried to sit up, but the letter-opener was once again pointed toward me. I sat still, being forced to watch her read the paper that had been in the envelope in complete, air-tight silence.

As her eyes darted from one end to the other, scanning the letter quickly, her eyebrows slowly rose. Her eyes softened and her frown lessened. Her expression was changing by the second.

After a while, she finally finished.

And by that time, she had already let her arm fall limp, and her eyes showed extreme sadness.

Lowering the paper, she put the letter-opener back onto the desk and walked over to me.

I sat up, still unsure of her mental state. She could punch me, slap me, and from what I've seen and felt, probably even throw me out the window!

But what happened... I did _not_ see coming.

She hugged me.

I was suddenly reminded of something a long time ago. And it hurt.

All I did was sit there in disbelief, until she spoke through a sob.

"_He's... He's really sorry?_" she whispered, with a quiet, shattered voice.

Her heart must've been really aching, but I guess that letter helped a bit. And she must be asking about that guy. '_Anthony_', that's it.

I struggled, but eventually answered.

"He..." The last look on his face flashed in my mind. "Yeah... He is."

I felt her shudder. I couldn't bring myself to hug her back.

* * *

"Really? I can't believe it went so _well_."

Lily's reaction was rather... composed.

Seated on a couch in a living area, I told Lily of what had happened – excluding the life-threatening situation and me being overpowered onto a bed... That still sounds suggestive, no matter how you say it. Anyway, Daisy told me to wait down here, and Lily was nice enough to offer me a drink from the nearby kitchen while I waited and regaled her.

"There _was_ a glint of murder in her eyes. But thankfully it all ended without any breaking or bleeding."

Lily was still grinning, either amazed or not believing any bit of it, but she didn't stop me.

"So, anyway – I've actually got some other business to take care of here."

I leant forward, placing the cup on the coffee table and looking up to her with gradually stern eyes. She stopped smiling, and the room suddenly became somber. But I noticed her eyes weren't on me, but _behind_ m-

My train of thought came to a screeching halt when I felt a hand atop my head. A jolt went down my body, and it felt like a bad omen had just made its mark on me.

"I think you need a bit of a hair-cut."

That opinion on grooming came from Daisy Waterflower. And from the sounds of that sentence, she seems to be in a much better mood, but still pretty melancholic. The bad omen went away, but I was still _extremely_ wary of women's hormones, more so than ever.

I tried for a smile, but it ended up crooked.

"Maybe later?"

Daisy took a seat on the couch right next to me. Great... Now I'm feeling uncomfortable again. I'm trying to stay emotionally focused and they're acting all chummy.

Still in her soft voice, Daisy said, "So, you were saying you had business _other_ than delivering those things to me _or_ challenging our gym?"

Well, I'm glad she's helping me get to the point.

"Yeah. I wanted to meet with your other sister?" I asked, clearing my throat.

"Mm?" Daisy glanced at Lily. "Well, I passed her by, I think Violet's taking a shower, so..."

"No... Your _other_ sister..."

They looked at me questioningly... That was _not_ a look I wanted to see.

My heart started racing because something I had thought of might actually be reality.

_She might not exist_...

"Uhh..." Lily sounded sceptical, and I turned to her while trying to keep my expression calm. But the look on her face _really_ didn't help. "You mean Misty?"

..._Thank god_.

* * *

**Flickers of hope are easy to douse.**


	4. To Find What's Lost

Crowds of people were still walking their feet off in the cold Cerulean City streets. Places to go, people to see. Come rain or come shine, it's business as usual.

Sitting in the cafe booth, I took note of the fact that, even though it had only been fifteen minutes since I was outside, the wind had really picked up. Each timed gust would make everyone outside brace in unison, which looked kinda funny. The windows didn't shudder much, but even the streetlights couldn't handle the wind too well. I was thankful I didn't have to endure it yet, but I probably would later.

For now, I was coming closer to my goal. Meeting Misty.

I still couldn't tell whether or not I had come back in time or if I'd woken up in a different reality, but I've waited too long to do this. _Way_ too long. I didn't know why I didn't look for her sooner, but at least by now I've grown to know what this world is like. It's more or less the same, barely a few major differences. Evidently, a lot of things I remember haven't happened in this world's timeline. I may not've remembered too much of when I was ten, but I could clearly remember a few world-changing events I was a part of – involving various pokémon of legend and villainous teams. But whether or not they happened in this world didn't matter, or at least they hadn't been shown to matter. Right now, all I was doing was waiting out Misty's schedule. Along with a friend.

A sudden slam on the table shocked me out of my daze. I looked up along the arm, frozen in a flinch. Lily looked satisfied to have gotten my attention.

"...Yes?"

"Just making sure you're not spacing out on me," she said, smirking. Glancing outside, she slid her jacket off. "Lucky we came in when we did, huh? Hope it dies down a bit before we gotta go."

I nodded, and decided to pick up a conversation.

"Cerulean Middle, huh? And it's her last year?"

"Mhmm. She's got a few tests coming up. Cerulean High'll be a breeze for her with as much commitment as she puts in to things. I just finished up there, actually," she said, picking up a menu. "So you said you were from the hillsides – Pallet Town? What kinda schooling do they have? What's it like in Pallet?"

Well, I wanted to talk about Misty, but at least the sudden interest could give me some time to get her to become a little more open around me.

"Pallet? Uhh... Kanto's lowest of the low-brow?" I joked, but quickly waved off the look she gave me. "One elementary school – kindergarten to sixth – and a high school – seven to ten. It's a lot looser in the hills, but a lot more collected too. You, well, go to school, choose a path and, more often than not, leave for somewhere more... promising. A pokémon journey, Silph Co work, doctor, uh, plumber or whatever. It pretty much all depends on what you're looking for in life, I guess." I scratched my head. "Pallet doesn't really have... the resources to support a full life's aspirations yet, so people pretty much build themselves there, and then go for somewhere that does. Having a famous pokémon professor live in the neighbourhood can only do so much for the town. To the rest of the world, we're pretty much a dot on the map, highlighted for Professor Oak."

Before I realised I had said that mouthful, I was already done. I didn't mean to ramble, but Lily was already giving me a sceptical look.

"_How_ old did you say you were?"

That speech didn't feel too pleasant. I had to shake it off.

"Sorry... Didn't mean to go on. But enough about me. I'm actually interested in what Misty's been up to since I last saw her."

Her face showed that I had struck a better chord. The air got a lot freer.

"..._Oh_?" The cat-like grin she gave me, I read loud and clear. It's a look I've known for a while.

I held up a rescinding palm.

"Think what you want – I'm just trying to find Misty. This is between me and her."

I silenced her, but she took on a bit too serious of an expression. Her smile quickly drooped into a small frown. Damn, what's with these mood changes? That one look – I don't know where she learned it – completely threw off any self-confidence I had.

I retracted my hand, and if I could, I'd have retracted my statement.

We fell into a silence, neither of us taking up a voice. I fumbled and tried to hide my face behind a menu, but I could feel Lily studying me like a hawk. She must be re-assessing me and whether I should be anywhere near her sister or not. But still, of all the sisters, Lily seemed to be the one that had been most welcoming to me. Daisy was still getting over her relationship dramas and Violet was probably still touchy 'cause of that age bit. She's the second oldest, right?

"Excuse me?" a waitress piped up, adjusting her glasses. "But would you and your young friend be ready to order, Miss Waterflower?" She had a welcoming smile and a notepad ready to take down our orders.

Lily put on a smile.

"I'll just have, like, the usual, please."

So Lily's a regular then. Facing me, she signalled for me to order. At least the minute of awkward silence was over.

"Mmm..." I finished my rushed scan of the menu. "'Guess I'll have what she's having," I decided, resting the menu.

The waitress wrote what she needed down.

"Two croque-madame with sausage coming up. Please help yourself to the drink bar while you wait."

With a bow, she left. I couldn't help but feel outta place when she mentioned what we ordered.

"Posh much?" I said after a pause, propping lazily on my arm.

"Illiterate much?" Lily mimicked, propping cockily on her own.

I scoffed. "Tcheh – Sorry if I'm not up-to-date with your '_Cerulean-style_ _cuisine_'."

"Our meals are French."

I snapped back. "Whatev-"

I suddenly cut-off my outburst when I realised something. Something... odd.

Does their family have a mutual influence on me or what? Because I could imagine having the _exact_ same conversation with Misty, like when we used to travel. Back and forth we'd go, until either one of us gave up or someone stopped us. The former didn't happen very much though. I was getting an eerily familiar feeling right now. But it felt... good. Nostalgic in a way.

A laugh escaped my lips, catching Lily's notice. Before she could ask, I spoke up.

"So, uhh... would you mind telling me about Misty? If it's not too much to ask..."

The mood had gotten a bit lighter again. It was a question I had been meaning to ask, but I had to keep being as thoughtfully earnest as possible. Lily looked concerned, but responded.

"Well, I won't tell you too much, no offense. What'd ya wanna know?"

Wow, she really just asked that! Phew. I thought for a moment, deciding to try and prod for a bit. This was the chance I had been waiting for, to get some info on what Misty was like here.

"I s'pose I'd... like to know how she's doing overall? Anything I should know about before meeting her? If she's having a bad week? I'd rather avoid her if she is."

The smile on my face grew onto Lily's as well.

"You sound like you know at least _one_ part of her personality." She appeared to be thinking for a bit, before leaning forward and lifting a finger. "Here's an idea. Why don't you tell me what you remember of her? You said it's been years since you guys last saw each other. I'll tell you if you're on the mark or if she's changed."

...Whoa. That wasn't a bad idea. I had to get used to these girls more, or at least stop underestimating them so much.

On the plus side, my story was sticking pretty well, but this was where I had to be careful.

I didn't know if the time I had spent hesitating was long enough to change someone's personality. But it _was_ Misty, who would have been too stubborn to change anything about herself.

Since this is her older sister I'm talking to, I'm sure she can tell right off the bat if I'm talking about her younger sister. This would still be challenging, mostly 'cause I was supposed to be a 'childhood friend looking for a warm reunion'. Yes, these lies put a lot of pressure on me, but the breaking point is when I actually see Misty. Whether she's anything like I remember or not.

Whether she accepts me... or pushes me away.

With that thought, I swallowed and started.

"Okay. Umm..."

I had to think for a bit. What made Misty 'Misty'? She's been my best friend for years, so it couldn't have taken that long to come up with something.

"Well, her moods can get pretty extreme. There's a temper that should be steered clear from, easily a stand-out trait." Lily remained expressionless, so I went on. "Uhh... last time I saw, she was attached to her bike a lot – liked to travel quickly. Her common sense-kinda thinking could sometimes be a wet blanket. She loved fishing- Oh! Yeah, she was _crazy_ about water pokémon. Absolute freak on facts of water-types and stuff... The only pokémon she didn't like were bug pokémon – it wasn't as much of a resentment as it was a phobia... I think... Despite her being easily creeped out by things and romantically spaced out by cheesy dramatics, she was still a tomboy. She was a great swimmer and had great showmanship, and knew how to have fun. She liked to make people happy if she could. She'd always care for anyone who needed it... She understood what it was like to be looked down on... and to overcome adversity... She was always trying to think ahead, and of what to do if things got bad... She might upset you... but you couldn't hate her for too long, and she wouldn't keep it up either..."

The best thing of all... she put up with me.

I stopped. Lily had arched her eyebrow and kept a lingering stare on me.

After a few awkward seconds, I cleared my throat and tried to avoid eye contact.

"Sorry..."

She dismissed it.

"It's... It's alright. Just shows how, uhh... _excited_ you are to see her again." So, I did good? "Yeah, more or less, I can't say that's not Misty in a nutshell." I relaxed, trying to not show how big of a sigh I wanted to give. "But you seem a bit _too_ worked up over this."

I did my best to keep my cool.

"Whaddya mean?"

Woops. Forgot. Underestimation.

"Well... you haven't seen Misty in years, and I can understand that you'd be nervous. Especially if there's more than something platonic going on here." Something caught in my throat. "But to be this curious, to go so far as to ask me to help you to her school, making out as if you need to see her as soon as possible, like it's a matter of life and death..."

Yeah, I could see why she'd be thinking that. The entire ordeal _had_ been a bit chaotic. But I couldn't hesitate anymore. It's been way too long.

"Do you really think this'll work?"

She caught me off-guard with that, but this had been on my mind more than she could imagine.

I looked away.

"I hope so," I mumbled.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, the rain came.

Lily said we didn't need a cab. Sigh... So we walked _through_ _the_ _rain_, huddled together under an umbrella. If this were any other time, I'd feel... awkward being so close to one of Misty's sisters. But I was in no mood to be feeling anything like that. The only thing I was feeling was nervousness. And anxiety... And angst... Okay, they all mean the same thing. But basically, I was feeling it three times over.

And it was all for meeting Misty... all over again.

"They'd be in their last class for today by now," Lily spoke up through the drone of the rain, checking her watch. "We should make it with some time to spare. She usually goes out with her friends for a bit before coming home, but we'll meet her before she leaves."

"Okay." I muffled a short groan.

This was something I was afraid of. I rubbed my eyes to try and soothe an on-coming headache. This was going to be difficult, any way you look at it.

"You keep looking like that and it's gonna make _me_ depressed," I heard Lily say. I snapped out of it after that, but those thoughts would still be in the back of my head. "If you're really this nervous, we could always go back to the gym. You could wait for her there."

The offer was nice. It showed that she cared.

"No, no – I'd rather see her sooner than later. I'm just... thinking of how to start, and what to say. I need to take this really carefully. Last time we were together, she wasn't above physical violence," I told her, and really, that was the truth. "And I've never been on her good side one-hundred percent. At least," a car drove past, tearing through the water on the road, "I _think_."

"What was that?" Lily asked.

I just shook my head, dismissing it.

Looking ahead, I saw a few buildings behind a tall gate. That must've been the school.

"Is that it?" I pointed.

"Yep, that's it. Cerulean Middle School."

It didn't look too extravagant from what I had thought. Just about right, actually. It was big, but I bet there was a lot more to see behind the gates.

"The highschool is a couple of blocks away, so this is pretty much the kids' district."

I nodded.

There weren't any students out yet, but the place would likely fill up within the next few minutes.

I looked all around the front, seeing a few bus stops we could take shelter under, but we walked right past them, making me wonder where Lily was leading me.

In the end, we walked right through the open gate and went under one of the school's buildings. We took this time to shake off the water.

"You don't think we'll get in trouble for hanging out here?" I just wanted to make sure.

"Well, I'm the sister of the most well-known student, as well as one of the city's gym leaders, so-o-o..." she went on, taking a seat on a bench. "_You_ on the other hand... I hear the current principal's a real hard-ass, no matter what you think your rights are."

She didn't hold back a smirk. It sounded like a warning. I took a seat next to her, resting my feet.

"You know..." I sat back and breathed a heavy sigh. "For what it's worth, I'm glad someone came with me." Lily hummed questioningly. "I've never really been good with doing things on my own. Even if it was something little, I've always had support. Meeting Misty again is really important to me... and I'm thankful you've helped me so far. But..." Hesitantly, I turned to her, and she gave me her attention. "If you don't mind, could you... give us some privacy? I've got a lot of things to talk about with her, and I don't want it to be any more awkward than it will be."

I was expecting a sneer or narrowed eyes, but she must've read the sincerity in my request.

Her eyes didn't harden at all. They actually softened.

She shrugged. "Who am I to get in the way?"

"...Her sister?"

"Then should I?"

"I'd rather you not. Please?" I clapped my hands together, begging.

Lily sighed half a laugh.

Suddenly, the ring of the school bell combined with the noise of the rain. My heart leapt in my throat for a second.

Within moments, hundreds of students were exiting every visible door. Hordes of kids around my age either made their way around to the bus bay, or they pulled out an umbrella or coat to brave the storm.

"I'll look for her. Sit tight," Lily said, before getting up and leaving me to sit and wait.

A few people turned toward me as they went by. I thought of approaching someone and asking about Misty, but decided against it. It might be a little iffy.

Crossing my arms, I busied my eyes by looking around, trying not to catch anyone else's gaze. But I was still scanning the crowd occasionally, searching for a particular head of red.

Checking my watch, I saw it was five to three, so I continued vegetating in silence... and loathing it.

And now, I couldn't see Lily anywhere! What was she doing? She must've gone in to look for a classroom or something.

By the time I realised she was gone for too long, the place really thinned out. The only people left were some students hanging around for something – probably afterschool clubs. Bar the moderate crowd outside the gates waiting for buses.

No sign of Lily at all. One of the groups standing by – consisting of a couple of guys and girls – looked approachable now, so... Might as well...

"'Scuse me?" I butted in to their conversation, getting their attention straight away. "Sorry to interrupt, but would any of you know a 'Misty Waterflower'?" I tried to put it as plainly as possible. A few of them looked between themselves, except one brown-haired girl that replied.

"Yeah, she's student vice-president. You a transfer student?" she asked.

One guy suddenly started going on, voicing something brash and getting the others to laugh with him for some reason. Clearly, they weren't going to help. I knew this deal. I had known it for years. Don't you just love teenage, social, bravado-centred, pack mentality?

I signalled the girl over a dozen steps away, and she followed.

"D'you know if I could find her anywhere around here? I'd really appreciate it." I gave her the most thankful smile I could.

She accepted it, and pointed to a building.

"She'd be finishing up student council stuff in that room on the second floor."

Through the rain, I could see one room with lights on, and a few figures walking around inside. I smiled brightly.

"Thanks a lot," I said simply, and started my trek for the room by following under the awning.

I really don't know why Lily entered the other building instead of this one, but she probably didn't know either. Just as I got halfway to the other building, I slowed to a stop.

...

For a moment I just stood there, but I eventually went on, a bit slower than before though. What stopped me wasn't something surprising – not at all. It was just that it finally dawned on me.

I'm finally going to meet her, face-to-face.

This'll be the culmination of everything I've prepared for. I've thought of what's needed to be said countless times. Now I just hope that I can get my points across. All I have to do is keep us both on the same page without making her feel like I'm out of my mind – which will be hard anyway. But I have to do my best.

After entering the building, I could hear a few faint voices coming from atop the stairs.

It wasn't Misty though. I passed them by – two people, probably student council members – and once they were gone, everything became a lot heavier. My footsteps, my clothes, my head. I could feel the tension in myself rise up, but I pressed on, determined to see this through.

Reaching the top, I looked both ways before walking the hallway to where the lit room was, hearing my shoes hit the floor in echoes, along with the voices up ahead.

One voice caught my ear and made my heart skip a beat.

I stopped, not even thinking of moving a muscle.

She was there. She was right there. My chance to reconcile a bit of my old life. She could have answers. She could have questions. She could give me some sort of hope in this world. We had been through a lot of things, and I knew, if there was any way she could help me, she would do it. That was the kind of person she was. The kind of person she'd always be.

The door slid open. Out came a black-haired girl who paid me no mind.

And then... her.

Her clean shoes clacked on the smooth floor. Her uniform's skirt spun as she turned. And her freely hanging orange hair whirled in the air, hiding her face just enough to stop me from seeing her eyes before she started for the opposite end of the hall. Even while watching her back, I was struck with awe. So much yearning to see her had left me anxious, but actually seeing her was more reassuring than I could've imagined. She was everything I remembered. It seemed like a dream, that she was finally in front of me.

She was the one person that had elated my hopes of returning home more than anyone else.

I swallowed hard before finally twitching a muscle.

I took a step forward.

"Mist-"

Realisation of something hit me.

This one thing completely stopped me.

She turned toward me with an impassive look.

We kept each other's gazes, letting time pass by in a single, long instant.

I couldn't move. Those eyes, anticipating something, but receiving nothing. My feet were cemented in place, but felt like they would give way at any moment. My nerves were shot. Time had slowed down for me. I couldn't even blink. All I could hear was my own throbbing heartbeat. What felt like ages, soon ended.

She shifted, and, without a word, turned and walked away.

That realisation. Not only did it come late, but it became a reality.

I couldn't get a breath out as I watched her go down the stairs and out of view.

* * *

I was completely lost.

My head was soaked. I couldn't even bring a clear thought together, let alone cover myself. I just kept walking slowly for the gates, head hanging and dripping. The rainfall rushed my ears. I couldn't make a firm expression.

Every time I thought back, all it did was make me feel worse. So much thought and time invested into this, and now... it all seemed so useless.

It had always been in vain. Right from the start.

I was barely able to keep walking, but somehow I heard someone calling out to me. I turned, just in time to see the person cover us with an umbrella.

"What're you – Hey, what's wrong?"

Lily immediately became worried after seeing my face. But I couldn't bring myself to deal with her, or anyone right now.

"I-I..."

I turned away, not knowing what to say or how to say it. There was nothing _to_ say. Nothing mattered. There wasn't anything she could do to help.

"Listen... don't mention me again..." I shook. "J-Just forget about me. Forget I even came."

"What?"

Lily was genuinely surprised by this, feeling the despair I was emanating.

"What're you talking about? Did you find Misty?"

Stifling a pained grunt, I palmed my face.

"P-Please, just..." I turned to her, desolation etched across my face. "Just forget that you ever met me... Don't say anything to her... Forget this whole thing."

Finally, I pulled my hood up and walked away.

Lily made no attempt at following me.

Out of earshot, I said one last thing.

"_She doesn't need me_..."

* * *

**An ephemeral purpose.**


	5. Yesterday's Pain, Tomorrow's Hope

That was it.

I was done.

Call me shameful. Call me a quitter. I won't care.

I had my chance.

She was right there. _Right there_.

She was more likely than anyone else to be able to help. My friends and family all came to mind, but she fit the bill better than anyone else I could manage to find.

I woke up. I received Pikachu. We ran for our lives together. And then we met her.

That was all _before_ the flash of lightning.

I thought if anyone could give me answers, any hint to the truth, it would be her. She was there for me when I needed her before, and she would be there for me again.

Well… that's what I thought.

All that hope, all that self-imposed guaranteeing, lead to my own downfall. It blinded me from one question.

_Would Misty recognize me?_

All she had to do was turn around and know me.

She didn't.

She couldn't. And for that, I put all the blame on myself.

I was so _stupid_! How could I have missed it? It was such a _weak_ _reason_! A _weak_ _excuse_!

I kept thinking to myself '_Misty will help. She's my best friend. She has to_'. Being deluded further and further by my misplaced sense of faith, I promised myself she'd be there for me.

But not once, not _once_ did I think of her as Misty, a girl from Cerulean. Misty, the heir to Kanto's water-type gym. Misty… _the girl Ash Ketchum never knew_.

I didn't play by this world's rules. I didn't go with this world's standards. I refused to conform to its set of relationships. Or lack of relationships.

_Ash Ketchum knows his mother – Delia. Misty Waterflower knows her three older sisters – Daisy, Violet and Lily._

_Ash Ketchum does _not_ know Misty Waterflower._

Everything was fine. The only thing wrong with all this was me.

I was the outcast. I was the one that had unnatural thoughts running through their head, not anyone else.

Everything – all the guilt, all the pressure, all the pain – was on me.

* * *

"_Pewter City Gym, Brock Harrison speaking._"

"…"

"_Hello?_"

"Uh, sorry. Is this the gym leader?"

"_That's right. 'The rock-solid pokémon trainer' is the title I've got, he-heh. Who am I speaking to?_"

I swallowed, trying to breathe evenly.

"A-Ash Ketchum from Pallet."

Please…

"…'_Ash Ketchum'?_"

I raised my head and gripped the phone tighter.

"_Nice to meet you, Ash. What can I do for you?_"

I hung up and slammed the phone down on the table. I turned away and covered my eyes.

I just sat there, listening to the birds and winds outside, and feeling more hope crumble away from whatever was still left.

* * *

Mulling over everything while lying against a tree under a grey sky wasn't going to help.

But there I was anyway.

What was it now? A few weeks? A month since I 'woke up'?

Time flies when you're trying to find the cause of your unexplainable existence.

You couldn't find a more sullen, more downbeat person for miles. I felt sick without any real sick feeling, yet I'd have classed myself as mentally ill in some way or another if I wasn't so sure I was right about me not supposed to be being here.

In body, I was ten years old. In mind, I was much, much older. Old enough to have emotions and thoughts developed from many life experiences. But none of those thoughts or ideas were gonna help me with my state of mind right now.

And of course, Mom tried her best to convince me otherwise.

She tried to think of ways she could help, but I shot them all down – harshly. Not because I completely thought they wouldn't work, but because I wanted to exhaust every possible action I could before anyone unnecessary, like a complete stranger, needlessly got involved. Mom's already cried because of me. I'm not gonna let something like that happen again.

Who could really understand anyway?

I couldn't think of anything good, which didn't help my growing pessimism toward everyone and everything in this world.

I did the things at the top of the list that I thought might help. They ended up not doing anything for me whatsoever, so here I am, half-sleeping with my arm over my eyes, waiting under a tree at the edge of Pallet for nothing in particular.

And then I heard the grass crunch under someone's feet. They soon stopped.

I didn't hear anything for a while until they spoke.

"Don't think I'm back just for _you_."

I was surprised to move my arm and see Gary, still ten and still looking like a jerk. He wasn't smirking as widely as I would've thought, but it was there.

"I felt like taking a break after nearly a month on the road. And of course to check up on my ever-growing set of pokémon at Gramps' lab."

Give him a year or two. He's bound to grow up sooner or later. And if I were really ten, I'd be firing the worst comebacks right now.

"So, how's the static life here, '_Mister Pokémon Master_'? Or are you still charging yourself before setting off? It doesn't matter how much time you take, you won't be able to catch up to me. The tracks I leave all over Kanto might not be enough for you as a guide. If you ask nicely, I might just give you some pointers."

I think he went on like this for a full minute more, listing his strongest caught pokémon and achievements '_within_ _the amazing record time of just four weeks!_' …Yippee.

But, honestly, it was refreshing. I was happy to see him.

Gary Oak was still just as I remembered him. He was one of the only things left I could actually not be cynical about at all, which is kinda weird. He was probably the only friend I still had, albeit a rival slash friend. He knew about my accident in the storm, but I guess he's just trying to help me get over it by acting as natural as ever. Who knows? Right now, he might be trying to convince me to get off my butt and start doing something with myself… in his own smartass Gary way.

"Seen any legendaries yet?"

I spoke randomly, on the off-chance he was listening.

Turns out he was. His reaction was a wriggling smirk and a haughty hand gesture.

"You been lookin' at those little picture books again, Ashy-boy? I may be the next big thing, but even I know seeing a legendary pokémon isn't gonna happen anywhere _near_ the first day, or even ever!"

Someone gimme a board and some laundry. It's getting really irony in here.

"Besides, if I really wanted a legendary pokémon, I'd scope out Cerulean Cave."

"Hm?"

"They say those tough pokémon aren't the only species inhabiting the place, and that some special, super-strong, one of a kind pokémon is in there somewhere. I'd check it out if I wasn't so incredibly busy taking the league by storm. But I came back home to rest for a while."

Well… that's interesting.

Gary actually admitted defeat. He's growing up quicker than I thought!

Cerulean Cave, huh?

"So!"

"…So-o-o?"

"So, I came by to pass a message."

"Sender?"

His eyebrow flicked as he struggled to keep smiling.

"May."

My eyes burst wide open.

"She wanted to talk to you at home. Probably some '_remedial session'_. Knowing sis, she's got the _tea_ _party_ already set up by now."

Oh… right... I've known more than one 'May' in my life. One down the road, the other… I don't know where – I can't be sure. Hoenn, hopefully. The one down the road's birth name was 'Daisy', another name I know two people for. Small world. Small, conflicting, uncertain world.

"What'd she say exactly?" I sat up.

"Not much. She just said she might have a way to help you out of your '_demotivation_'," he answered, surprisingly with a half-decent answer. "From what I saw, she was making some tea, so I dunno if it's some special herb juice for relaxation or if she's just gonna talk your ear off."

Ahh, May. Always with the humanitarianism. We hadn't spoken much – then again, I hadn't spoken much, period. But anyway, I'd known Gary's sister as an older sister to me too when we were little. Us three were pretty close back then – and I _know_ those are genuine memories – but I really can't say the same about us anymore.

But if she's actually offering help, then she must've been thinking about me and how I've been brooding all over Pallet. That one thought motivated me enough to at least go visit her.

I stood up and dusted my pants off.

We both walked down the hill, Gary leading, knowing exactly where to go. Neither of us could get lost in Pallet Town if we wanted to. No matter how old we'd get, we could never forget the routes of our roots.

"How long you in Pallet for before heading off again?"

"A few days, a week tops. Places to go, people to see, championships to be won. I hear some gyms have been busy with renovations, so I thought I'd try and wait 'em all out."

I nodded and stared ahead.

I felt an elbow in the rib.

"Don't be too lax. I don't know if the shock to your head's still fryin' your brain, but if you don't move on out soon, I'll be champ before you catch your first pokémon!"

'Move on out', huh?

I couldn't help but wonder about that… ever since I woke up.

* * *

Knocking would've been my approach, but Gary just swung the door open and waltzed right in. I followed behind. Too bad – the sun just started to come out through the clouds.

His house was still the same – a bit roomier than mine, but not too different overall.

"May!" Gary sang out. "I brought 'im over."

"In the kitchen!" another voice called.

We both walked around the corner and entered the kitchen.

Sitting at the table was Daisy 'May' Oak. Yeah, she was born 'Daisy', but when Gary came along and kept calling her 'May' as a kid for some reason, it caught on and she's been stuck with two names ever since. A pokémon masseuse, florist and 'tea activist', May's been a home-grown and rooted kinda girl. Well, that's what I get from what Mom's told me. We haven't interacted much, aside from get-togethers and important times, but she was a great person. Whatever her intentions were, I'm sure they couldn't hurt.

"So, your mom's been talking about you."

…Ow.

"That so?"

"Yeah, and she wants you to go for a visit somewhere."

She gestured for the chair opposite her.

"I'll be upstairs," Gary excused himself.

I sat down and was quickly offered a cup of tea. It was steaming a little, but I took a tentative sip and tasted it. Hot, sweet and tangy.

"It's good."

She smiled.

"Still make your own?"

"Whenever Celadon can spare the ingredients."

She drank from her own.

"But I'm finding it more and more easy to just buy from the stores around here and grow whatever I need out in the field. The seeds are a pain to find, but we always replant plenty."

She liked tea – probably a love she developed herself – and she was pretty good at making it. Her ingredients field was a block or two away, and it's probably two times the size of her house's area. She was well-invested in the stuff, but hadn't opened a shop or anything big yet as far as I knew. Don't know why. She'd make a killing.

"Not gonna open a tea shop or anything yet?"

She seemed surprised by the question, but waved it off with a laugh.

"Wa-a-ay too much work. I sell the ingredients whenever someone drops by, but that's about it, and that's all it _will_ be for the foreseeable future."

Didn't know May could be so… lackluster. The work would be a ton, but she might be skipping out on a good living here. Oh well.

"Besides, the florist's plenty for me right now. It's not as grand as any big greenhouse in Celadon, but it's still rewarding. Plus, the pokémon at the ranch love me when I smell like a garden."

We shared a laugh, mine much more reserved than hers.

That was basically it for small talk. She was just as I remembered, and now that I've talked to her, she was a bit more. She softened me up, so whatever she called me over for, I guess I might be a little more accommodating now.

"So… what's up?"

May's smile lessened.

"Well… Me and your mom've been talking. About you. Her mostly, I was just the ears."

She took a sip of her tea, really slowly, and she put it down just as carefully. She looked like she was putting herself on thin ice.

"And she thinks…" she rushed out, "she thinks seeing a professional won't be as bad as you think."

…

I kept my palms from outright slamming against the table, and the chair didn't fall over from its backward slide. But the tea did shake.

I was up and I was getting out.

It was just before the door that May's hand caught my wrist.

"Ash, please listen! I know some-"

I wrenched my arm away and kept going, not aiming for any place in particular. Just somewhere away from her.

"_I'll handle this! Don't follow, Gary!_" I heard her behind me as I strode away.

Who did she think she was? We don't even know each other and she's already offering Mom support in giving me to a 'talking doctor'. It's degrading and unfair, to think I need psychological help when someone else might be in more need than me. I waste their opportunity, and I waste my time trying to convince someone who could never even understand me that I'm not mentally insane!

My fists were balled and my teeth were clenched so hard they could've chipped with one wrong move.

She caught up and continued.

"Listen! I know someone who can help. She's good. A lot better than anyone you might be thinking of."

"_What gives you the right?_"

"What?"

I raised my voice – something I hadn't done in a long, long time.

"What gives _you_ the right to try and understand? _Huh_?"

"I want to help! Stop yourself and listen for a sec!"

She was just as set on continuing down the road and yelling as I was, no matter who saw or heard.

"Your mom's still worried! You've been blank for the past week and didn't even give her a reason for coming back from Cerulean! You just up and forced your mom to take you back here without so much as a warning!"

I tensed. She was getting louder.

"You could've at least told her why, but no, you're still not trusting her enough. And it's hurting her that you're not trusting her. All she does is worry, and you think you can take her for granted?"

I snapped my eyes open at that, barely keeping myself from bursting.

"It's pathetic to think you can do that to someone. You're not sparing her grief, you're worsening it! You're still hiding."

"_I'm not hiding_," I mumbled.

"Yes you are."

"_I'm not_."

"You are."

"I'm not!"

"Then what are yo-"

I whirled back at her, eyes leaking with free tears.

"I'm _looking_!"

We both stopped, letting my words echo in the air.

We were in the middle of a field by the road. Nothing but nature's sounds made a noise during that deep, thoughtless moment. A stare down – one trying to unlock the other with nothing but their eyes.

I eventually turned away, lowering my head.

"For what?"

I dropped to the ground and lay back. The cloud's shadow washed over us and the grass swayed all around my shaking body.

"_Anything_."

I palmed my face to wipe the tears away.

I was starting to hate myself again.

Every time someone tried to help, I pushed them back and asserted that my problems were my own. I shouldn't have been acting like this, but I didn't know how else to act.

I doubt May even knows what she's trying to help with. Mom wouldn't have told her.

I kept hiding the fact that I think I've crossed over from another existence by talking this cryptic crap. I only ever really talk about it when I find someone I can truly trust. So far, Mom's been the only one.

I was surprised May actually spoke to me again.

"What's wrong with letting someone else help?"

The sun came out from behind the clouds and hit my eyes, so I sat up.

I had vented my frustrations enough.

"Nothing." I sighed. "It's just that no one will be able to help _enough_. And the only way I can feel better is if I find someone who can really empathise with my problem."

I concede to the idea of sitting here for the rest of the day.

No one was able to understand because no one could really know. Simple as that. Nobody would believe the story I told Mom anyway, and I didn't ever think otherwise for fear of being labelled mentally ill right then and there. The last thing I needed was any unnecessary attention like that.

May sat down next to me, which… surprised me to say the least.

"Well, I understand your objections to therapy at least. I'm kinda surprised you reacted like that. It's as if you…"

"What?"

I knew what she was getting at.

"Well, it's such a… mature reaction. Like you know how it all goes and how, um, degrading it can feel for some people."

For now, I had to come up with an excuse.

"I've… heard of some things. Some people come out feeling better, others don't," was all I was gonna give her at that point.

"Hmm… Well, you won't have to worry about that this time."

I sighed.

"Why? Who could you know that would be so… _capable_ with my issue? How much did Mom tell you?"

Being so ambiguous about this was starting to hurt.

"She kept redirecting my questions, like she was hiding it. Like you. I decided not to dig too much and keep on the 'surface' of whatever this is, but I've still got something that might help."

…Wow.

She was considerate enough to not pry, and _still_ want to help. I really couldn't believe this. I'd never met anyone so respectful of someone else in such a way. It was, well, _heart-warming_.

I gave a much more comfortable sigh than before.

"Okay. What've you got in mind?"

It took running to nowhere, some yelling and some reasoning, but she finally got to say what she wanted to say since she invited me back at her home.

* * *

"Could you pass the salt, please?"

"Three years bad luck if you spill it, Ashy-boy."

Gary handed it over the table.

"Luck's for losers."

"All the more reason, loser." A bright smile suddenly lit his face up. "By the way, you haven't seen a sign just outside Cerulean City yet, have you?"

Oh. That.

If it weren't for Mom and May being at the table, I would've shot one of the best comebacks I could think of at him. And I know a lot. But I took the salt without another word.

It was dinner time and I invited both May and Gary over. Mom was pleased to see me being more out-going, and it felt better, to be honest, so she was happy to have dinner for four tonight.

May helped Mom, while Gary 'regaled' me with his journey's success '_within the amazing record time of just four weeks!_'. If his 'cheerleaders' were here… well, the amount of inflating words he could use to describe himself in a minute would be proportional to a fourth of his ego, so put cheerleaders next to him, and you'd need a blimp to hold it all in.

As they say, 'conceit is thinking you're awesome, egotism is knowing it'.

But that was then. This is now – a nice dinner between Ketchums and Oaks.

"A nice dinner between Ketchums and Oaks like old times." Mom adored the scene, using my thoughts word for word somehow. "It's a shame Professor Oak couldn't join us, but he _is_ the leading pokémon expert in Kanto."

The professor was away on a business trip. If he were here, it'd be nicer, but what're you gonna do?

"Yeah. He's been busying himself quite a lot," May commented.

"I don't think I could deal with all that." Gary spoke up. "Being with all kinds of pokémon twenty-four-seven's one thing, but the paperwork would be a killer. I'm not a fan of the lab coats either. I'm better off being a trainer."

Where does Mom keep the ironing board? The hallway closet, I think.

"How is your journey going, Gary? It's been a while since I've heard from Professor Oak about you."

Great, Mom… _Great_…

Gary was about to open his mouth and spew his vanity out all over our poor dinner table, but something dammed him up just in time.

"Hey, Gary. How'd you like some more travelling companions on the road for a while?" May asked sweetly.

Gary was stunned, but recovered his poise.

"Wanna see me take on my next gym battle in person, eh, sis?"

"Saffron?"

He nodded. "Saffron."

May turned to me.

"Saffron."

I nodded. "Saffron."

"Huh?" Gary was taken aback. Me and May just smiled at him. "What? You mean…"

"Any room in that car for me?" I asked.

* * *

**In an uncertain world, showing good will is irresponsible.**


	6. The Tears Begin to Show

I was looking much better. Better than I had been for ages. And there wasn't much to be responsible for me being this good.

It was all because of May.

Even back in my own world, I knew she was nice, but we didn't get along as well as we had these past few days. She became another person I could call a friend in this world.

Misty had her own life – I had to accept that, no matter how much it pained me to. She was one of my best friends, but I had no right to come in out of nowhere and force a relationship forged from unshared memories. That's how it was, and it wasn't going to change anytime soon.

I looked into Brock as much as I could. He was accomplished and was on his way up in the world, without me. His family life might still be the same, and that was another thing holding me back from trying anything. They would need him far more than I would.

Now that I couldn't count those two, up to this point, I had a handful of bonds here in this existence.

Mom, of course.

Professor Oak. He's been of great help and support, for both me and Mom.

Gary. He was my friend and always will be, even if he was a jerk.

And now May. She had barely spoken to Mom a couple of times before developing her own concern for me. It was really reassuring.

* * *

"You can pick any one of the three pokéballs here, Ash. I'm confident you'd do well with _any_ pokémon by your side."

Outside my house, Professor Oak and Mom were the last two – the only two – to see me off. Gary, his female 'posse' and May would get here shortly.

I explained to Mom as best I could about my plan, but she was still anxious. I assured her that I would be back within the week.

Then came a knock on our door. Professor Oak came to bid farewell. And he didn't come alone. He came with a suitcase and an offer. And very enticing offer.

He let me choose whether to pick a starter pokémon right then and there. The Professor explained that his newly grown trio were fit and ready for the world. In light of my situation, and from the eagerness I had shown a few weeks ago, he decided I was a good candidate.

This was a chance to start over – start fresh. Completely new, untapped potential laid before me.

But I couldn't help but think of something. This one particular thought kept me from even considering picking a pokémon.

_Compensation_...

My fist shook before I calmed myself.

"Sorry, Professor. I'm just not up for it. Not right now." I masked my grief.

I had to decline. It may have been cynicism, but it just didn't really feel right. Not yet, at least. It probably never will.

Professor Oak tried to hide the pain in his own expression. I knew exactly what he was thinking though.

"If that's really what you want, Ash, I'll respect your decision." He set down the briefcase and walked toward me. He held out a hand. "Take care in Saffron. And look out for my grandkids. They'll be a handful," he chuckled.

I nodded.

I looked down, solemnly remembering what I was told the day after I was taken back to the hospital after the… incident I caused for myself and Mom.

They told me that on the day of the thunderstorm accident, Professor Oak was the one that found me by the road. And the next day, he told me personally about what he had found and what he didn't.

Professor Oak found me lying by a tree on the side of the road. Everything I had on me was fine aside from some scorch marks.

But he didn't find Pikachu, or anything that could tell where he was either. He looked nearly as disheartened as I was when he told me that.

Before I let myself look rude, I shook the professor's hand. That conversation was done with, and I didn't want to feel any worse.

"Thank you for everything, Professor. I can't repay you enough."

"It's alright, my boy." We let go. "Take care now."

I stepped aside and gave Mom one final hug.

"Promise me you'll be alright," she said, squeezing my shoulders.

"Of course, Mom. I promise I'll be fine… You promise too."

She nodded.

* * *

Cars really were useful. Even though they're not used much and are pretty expensive, I wouldn't mind getting one if it meant a week of walking could turn into a few hours. Not that I still didn't mind travelling on foot.

"Whoa, look at those doduo!"

"Caught it."

…

"Oh! Up there, those butterfree! So beautiful!"

"Caught it."

Before May could continue her sight-seeing and provoke Gary to respond with another confirmation of having caught the aforementioned seen sight, I noticed something.

"Wait. What's…" I shadowed my eyes. May tried to spy it, but Gary was still sitting back coolly. "Above those trees over there, it's leaving a trail of blue… glitter? Is that… _Articuno_?"

"Heh, you're-"

As soon as May shut her mouth after turning to the side, planning to humour me, her abrupt silence caused Gary and the driver both to react to her reaction. Everyone in the sporty red convertible couldn't help but dart their eyes to where I was pointing.

And lo and behold! With a long blue piece of shiny plastic or something in its talons, a pidgey could be seen flying above the trees in the distance in all its majestic beauty.

May and Gary gave me snarky looks.

"Are pidgey really _that_ hard to catch, Gary? Wow, I'd better watch out."

"Yeah, you _should_ watch out. I've heard Articuno craps ice chunks on unsuspecting morons every year. You'd best hope you don't meet one."

"I'll try to watch out for 'em when I'm around you then."

I could hear his growl. "Implying that I'm a moron?"

"A few feathers short of a pidgey, yeah."

A pause went by before he replied.

"Where… do you get these – the comebacks?" He turned back to face me in the seat behind him. "I mean, they're not great, but better than anything I thought you'd ever be able to come up with. I don't remember you being so… smart-mouthed," was the word he decided on, even though he probably could've gone for something else.

I shrugged.

"You only have yourself to blame for hearing them."

May cracked an awkward grin and a… snort? Huh. Gary struggled and grunted for a retort, but sighed and turned back crossly.

"_What I get for letting you travel with me…_" I heard him grumble.

"We're not going there just for _you_, you know," May said, trying to sweeten Gary's sourness.

"Yeah, yeah." It didn't help much. "After my battle, Ash can have his little therapy sessio- Argh!"

May flicked her brother in the back of the head. Gary realised why she had done that, and tried to keep his eyes away from my general direction, dampening his own mood.

May turned to me to see if she succeeded in sparing my feelings.

"It's alright. I _am_ basically going there for one." I tried to put them at ease.

May smiled sadly and I saw Gary's shoulders relax.

There was no way I could blame them for acting like that. I had told them before that I was okay with it, but they still don't completely believe me – not after how touchy I was about the subject a while ago.

Me and May talked it over before I decided on coming here with Gary.

It's easy to understand the denial someone might have against any sort of psychiatric therapy. You could feel yourself being degraded by it. Imagine someone you have no relation with, attempting to get to know you on a personal level, just to dissect your mind for a cause of some mental pain they have no idea of or have no real concern for – and being _paid_ to do it! Anyone with a sense of pride would feel exposed or feel like they're being betrayed in that kind of situation! It would be the most humanly debasing circumstance to have to endure!

And May… She wanted to get me through that mental blockade.

She explained to me that they'd invest their time and energy just as much as I would – of course they wanna help. She said I'm not weak for asking, but I am weak for not trying everything I can and not accepting someone's practiced generosity.

Her words echoed in my mind.

"_Just because someone else gets involved, doesn't mean you're taking a step backward._"

May promised me that the person she was taking me to meet in Saffron wouldn't give me any of those woes. She promised I would come out of this feeling better. That was all she wanted to do – help me feel better.

"I spy somethi-i-ing… light green."

Both May and Gary turned to me with… I dunno _what_ you'd call those looks.

* * *

Dusk had made its way into the day by the time the car came to its stop.

Shoes landing and back straightening, Gary looked before him at his next challenge.

The Cerulean Gym wasn't the same as I remembered it, but this gym was. From a birds'-eye view, it'd sort of look like a big clam. From in front, it looked like a… an abstract circus tent, I guess. It was still familiar to my eyes though. Not much different.

The car that had been following us since Pallet containing Gary's cheerleaders pulled up behind us and they poured out, cheering now that they were finally reunited with their trailblazing pokémon trainer.

"Well, time to shine," Gary said, rolling his shoulders. "Thanks for the tips, sis. And Ashy-boy…" He smirked. "You'd best get in there and watch how a real pokémon trainer gets it done."

With that, he walked for the entrance, followed closely by his merry women.

The drivers of both cars excused themselves for a chat in the other car, leaving only May and I left.

We sighed.

"Shall we?"

"Give 'em a minute," May replied. "He does this hammy introduction thing. The gym leader's not one to get too dramatic, but she'd probably play a little of her part as well."

"'Her part'?"

"She gets all mystical and spirit-y the first time you challenge her, like," she continued in an ominous voice, "'_I have foreseen your arrival, challenger_', or something. She doesn't gloat, but you could _swear_ she was doing it all for a camera somewhere." She laughed.

I gave a laugh too, stopping after a while to calm down. Mystical, huh?

"But is she really… psychic?" In this world?

"Yep, she is. One time, when I asked her, she lifted a cup of tea into the air, right in front of my eyes. Not as spooky as I thought it'd be, to be honest."

"Any… mind-reading?"

"Oh, I actually asked about that once. She said she doesn't have full control over it, but she's done it on occasion." She raised her head – something must've just clicked. "You want her to…"

She's sharp. "Well, I was thinking about it. If she can, it'd probably help a lot. Less talking, more empathising, you know?"

"Mm. But are you sure you'd be ready for something like that? I mean, it might not be just a 'poke in, have a look, walk out' kinda thing. She might need the mind being read to be… stable or sound for however long or something."

"Believe it or not, I can compose myself pretty well. It's beneficial for trainers to be able to keep their emotions in check."

"Hmm?" she hummed mockingly, to which I took some offense to. She grinned. "What?"

I kept my glare for a moment longer, before hopping out of the car.

"He'd be done, wouldn't he?"

"Hopefully." She jumped out and we walked for the automatic doors of Saffron City's Gym.

Okay, now things were getting different. Again.

Last time I remembered, it was a yellow-coloured interior with a bunch of long hallways – kinda reminded me of a big beehive actually. But in here, just like Cerulean, things looked way more practical. It was a completely normal lobby. A reception desk, some table sets to the side of the room, a vending machine – nothing was too out-of-place.

No one was in the lobby to greet us, and we could hear the sounds of battle coming from a hallway to the right. Letting ourselves in, we continued on and stopped at some huge double doors which no doubt lead to the battle arena.

"Let's see if he's all he's cracked himself up to be," May joked.

I smirked and obliged to push open the door.

The first thing I saw was a bolt of electricity. And the first thing I felt was intense pain shoot through my skull.

My head flew back from the hit of the electric shock as if I had been shot.

I couldn't hear anything but a dim ringing. Everything was beginning to blur out of vision. I began to feel nothing from my neck down.

I barely sensed falling forward onto my stomach, giving me a chance to move my face to the side. My teeth were tightly clenched from the intense strain on my body's nerves.

I faintly heard my name being screamed. Another spark flew across my body as soon as someone touched me.

I felt myself being moved onto my back, not by hands, but by some sort of gravity.

I was starting to completely fade out into unconsciousness. I was completely numb and unaware of whatever would happen to me next as I stared straight up.

The last thing I saw was a pair of red eyes staring back at me.

Before I completely lost consciousness, I was able to strain a few last words out.

"_D-Don't… t-tell… M-Mom..._"

* * *

"_Why... Why are you helping me?"_

_"Well, for one thing, you saved my pikachu. That's a good reason."_

_"The only one?"_

_"Do you always need a reason to help somebody?"_

_"Perhaps you are unique... A unique human... One of a kind."_

_"You're one of a kind too. Everybody is."_

_"Heh... I do not know what I am. And soon... it may not matter."_

* * *

The first thing I felt waking up was a jolt of pain run through my head before a throbbing sensation took over.

My hands were free, which let me press against my forehead to help lessen the aching. It started to ease up thankfully.

I finally opened my eyes and was greeted by a plain-looking room, with orange-yellow walls. I was in a bed, above the covers.

As soon as the question of why I was here entered my mind, I remembered. An electric attack hit me. It was numbingly painful. I lost consciousness right next to May.

Wait… Where is she? Where is anyone?

I was about to get off the bed until the door swung open.

In stepped the leader of Saffron Gym, Sabrina. She looked more or less the same – dark-green hair and pale skin, but her outfit was a lot more casual than the red one I first saw her with. A dress shirt and pants weren't really befitting of a psychic-type gym leader with a reputation like hers. But she wasn't battling right now. It could just be a showmanship thing.

All in all, she seemed a lot more normal and a lot more approachable than when I first met her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

I rubbed my head.

"Uhh… A lot better than a while ago, actually."

"Good. Now get out."

…

Did… Did she just-

"Leave my gym. Now."

…What?

I was caught completely off-guard by that.

"Wait. I came with my friends for a reason."

"Yes, and now I'm telling you to leave."

"W-… Why?"

That question got her agitated for some reason. She glared daggers at me.

"I'm telling you to leave."

"And I'm asking you why."

Her upper lip curled.

"_Just as stubborn as I thought,_" she spoke under her breath, clearly enough for me to hear. "I'm letting you leave without any problem. That _is_ what you want, isn't it?"

I glared back at her.

"Listen. I came here to ask-"

"For my help, yes – May already spoke with me. She told me she helped persuade you to come here. I know all about the request." She held her arms in front of herself. "But she doesn't understand your entire situation now, does she? Because she is kind enough to let you keep your privacy, yet still chooses to help. She suggested you come see me, correct?"

I held my ground and nodded slowly.

"I've known May for a while now. I care for her, and I care for what she cares for as well. But what I _don't_ care for is someone who is too cowardly and pathetic to see when their friend is pouring their heart out to help them, yet insists on continuing to lie to their friend's face."

She took a step forward.

"She told me you had need of my counsel…"

Another step closer.

"I would have obliged for a friend of my friend…"

And another.

"I would have done my best to help you through your troubles…"

She finally stood over me.

"I took a small peek into your mind while you were unconscious. Invasive, I know, but I was planning on giving you a considerate amount of time to help consult your affairs. It didn't seem too inconvenient to get to know you a bit better beforehand. But now… I'm glad I did look. Because now I can prevent us from wasting our time," she finished resentfully.

We stood before each other – her glaring down at me, and me glaring from under my hair at her. I refused to raise my head up, but our eyes were still locked.

"Hm… You're unexpectedly tenacious. You react as a person at least twice your age would." She furrowed, tensing her hands. "But I'm _not_ helping someone like you."

She leant closer. We were now scowling at each other face-to-face.

She continued in a hushed, icy voice.

"_I saw the forefront of your thoughts, and they disgusted me. You were never persuaded by May's words. You just wanted her to stop worrying. You didn't want my help, and you didn't want her help either._"

...I finally broke our stare down, looking away from her.

"_Although I didn't delve deeper into your mind to ascertain exactly why you're so troubled, I do know one thing… Continue lying to yourself like this, and you won't get _anywhere_._"

She rose back up.

"_Now get out._"

My fists were balled beside me. My arms were shaking, but I kept the rest of my body under control. I lowered my unstable breaths back to normal as best I could.

I walked by her without a sound.

Before I left, I stopped myself at the door.

"You know something?"

She turned her head. I turned to her as well.

"I actually did think of you as one of the more promising people I could find." I turned back. "Your powers could've been the key I've been searching for. I thought of you as reliable, more so than most I could contact. And that was _before_ May spoke to me about you." I paused. No reaction from her. Sigh. "Even before all this happened… I had some faith in you."

She continued looking at me, unchanged, before turning back around.

"You're unexpectedly good at feigning emotion as well."

My body didn't react instantly. But that was the hardest I've ever slammed a door.

* * *

Have you ever at some point felt like you were worth nothing to anyone?

It's not a good feeling.

I would have called it 'angst', but I wasn't supposed to have anything to feel anxious about. I stayed true to what I believed – throughout all this.

Sabrina was absolutely right. I still hadn't given May enough reliance to let her lead me anywhere she might've thought would help me find answers. She didn't understand, but I didn't want her to understand. I didn't even want to _try_ to let her understand. I kept saying to myself that it would be a fruitless endeavor, that getting her to empathise with the fact that I thought I had crossed over two different realities and had been turned back into a ten-year-old would lead me nowhere. I kept thinking it would all be pointless.

I had nothing to be ashamed of. I saw this through to the end, no matter how abrupt of an end Sabrina had made it.

So… why? Why did I still feel so empty?

Was it because of May, and how she had cared so much for my sake that it makes me feel guilty? As simple as it sounded, I don't think it could all be pinned on just that. It felt like it had to be something more. It felt heavier, deeper.

I felt frustrated at how Sabrina described me, but it was all true. I was disappointed by the time I had wasted coming here. I felt disgusted with myself for trying to deceive May, Gary and Mom with all this. I was worried because I began feeling powerless again.

Just like that time I had awoken, ran away from the hospital and ended up in the rain.

I stared at my shaking hand. A hand that had nothing in it, and nothing to hold on to. I had nothing to show for the time I've spent trying to find even a clue to my past, future, whatever it is I'm trying to find!

I hated this feeling most of all. The feeling of complete loss of action. Powerlessness.

I balled my hand into a fist and I was _that_ close to letting loose a punch against the wall. Luckily I caught myself before I went through with it. I lowered my arm and let out a defeated breath.

I looked back at the door down the hall I had exited after being driven into the ground by all my mistakes. But after a moment, I turned back and walked away, dropping the thought of going back.

It wasn't worth it. And neither was I.

Just as I saw the entrance, the doors slid open.

In walked May, looking composed, but frantic in her steps. She stopped when she saw me, and that's when I caught a glimpse of her hand.

I remember being hit by that electric shock. And I felt someone touch me when I was on the ground losing consciousness.

Her hand was bandaged. She was hurt. And it was my fault…

At that moment, I realised why I felt so depressed about seeing her.

It was fear. Fear that I would lose something important.

I couldn't get over how selfless she was – how she went this far for me, despite me not letting her know anything further than my disposition. I was afraid that after this, I would go back to being helpless again, having nowhere practical or useful left to look – the same state I was in before I met with May.

I didn't want to admit it to myself at that time, but I was at a complete loss of what to do. I may have tried to tell myself there were still places to go and people to see, but that was far from the truth. Nothing was close enough, and there was no one reachable left. I didn't know anymore phone numbers to call, and travelling to another region on the slim chance that I could meet up with someone I knew would more than likely end up wasting valuable time and energy. I wasn't about to keep pushing myself as a burden on anyone else.

But this was the last good chance I had left. Going through with this – this right here – had the highest probability of accomplishing something and the least potential for unnecessary complications. I wasn't going to let it slip by.

May noticed me looking at her hand. She pulled it behind her, once again trying to spare my feelings.

We stood there in an awkward silence. The moment she opened her mouth, I had made a decision on what I wanted to do next.

"Ash-"

"May… I'll tell you. Everything."

* * *

**Paralyzed emotion.**


End file.
